Snow makes me want to stay inside in bed, in my pajamas, reading and smelling dinner being made downstairs. I ventured into the snow like an idiot in my sneakers, refusing to admit my stupidity even when the slush seeped into my socks. My friend and I hopping around a suburban parking lot of SUV tire tread marks filled with brown muck, finally making the final dash into buy expensive coffee.I skipped swimming, unable to drive downtown, get naked and dive into a cold stinking chlorinated pool. I have a tooth ache that is being semi-relieved by benzocaine gel. I napped in the faint afternoon light, half dressed, an abandoned book beside me, unable to be affected by doses of caffeine. Hazy happy thoughts greet me and I smile to myself because there is no one else around. I listen to Catherine Wheel’s “Pain” on repeat, in the dark, just to annoy myself, the shivers never cease to make their way down my spine. And I’m not in pain, but everything seems cold. Distant, out of my grasp so far away in the storm. Frozen in the chilled air outside, numbed by my cool thoughts, thawing gently in my warm bed.
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